Food for Thought Supper Club

by Audrey Jacobs

It doesn't boil down to anything, not to any one reason. There was no epiphany. I wasn't running away, but I was walking away from 30 years of a good life.

San Diego had been good to me: marriage to a nice Jewish doctor; three sons; Spanish-style home in a historic neighborhood; vibrant friends, extended family, and colleagues

And I was good to San Diego: Always community-oriented, during college, I ran an underground (pre-Internet) nightlife hotline and started my first singles group. Throughout careers in affordable housing, arts administration, nonprofit management, venture capital, and wealth management, I was always producing experiences that brought people together.

After first visiting San Miguel 30 years ago on my honeymoon, moving here remained a dream, a dream that stayed alive, even if the marriage didn't.

I was 55, I felt done. My three sons were grown, I worked remotely, my romantic relationship was not of the forever type... I was ready for the next chapter of my life.

So a year ago, I came back to San Miguel, first for two weeks, then for six, and now for good.

I got involved right away, doing what I do: the first, two-week visit, I wrote an article about an environmental project at the Tikkun Eco Center; the six-week visit, I wrote a "Journey to Joy" travel series documenting the intellectual and emotional exploration of my moving to San Miguel. I also hosted many Shabbat dinners for a diverse group of Mexicans and expats, Jews and non-Jews. My next visit, the one that continues to this day, I hosted a Día de Muertos "Living Legacy" retreat about writing your obituary and then living it.

The transition was easy. I didn't do one bit of research. I was blessed through my professional network and my faith community to connect with amazing friends who took me under their wing and made me family.

Still, underneath it all, Even as an extrovert, when you leave everything and everyone you know, and you're not fluent yet in the language, it's hard.

I threw myself into the life of the city: lectures, concerts, markets, dance classes, art openings, community events, dinner parties... I had fun, but I often left feeling disconnected. I might have spent an entire night sitting next to someone amazing and never learned their name.

I had to be very proactive to find a friend. I can do that, but I don't always want to. I wanted something simple, yet hard to find. I wanted to find my people.

The author
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So I did what I've always done. I took matters into hand and curated my own community, designing experiences and gatherings that I wanted to attend, so I could find the kind of people I wanted to be with.

I helped start a small supper club called "Food for Thought." Still ongoing, eight people gather around a dinner table once a month and discuss a single idea, like consciousness, death, or hope. Nobody tries to impress. We share food, stories, laughter, and thoughtful conversation. It fills a need; a need that exists broadly in our city.

Again and again, I hear the same desire: people without partners love San Miguel, but they crave friendship, belonging, and often, romance. I'm not the first expat who has recognized and tried to do something to solve the problem, but I have a lot of related skills... 30 years of them.

I have devoted my life to the art of gathering. The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters is my second bible.

I started my first singles organization when I was 18. Years later, I designed the Culinary Hedonism Supper Club; twelve strangers, six men and six women, gathered around a table while a chef served an eight-course dinner. Between courses, guests shared favorite poems, songs, quotes, and personal stories. No cell phones. No politics. No religion. The evening ended around my fire pit with s'mores and conversations that lasted long after marshmallows were gone.

I created: Audrey's Tent, another singles group, with more than 600 members; Wonder Women & Wishes a community of entrepreneurial and creative women who gathered around themed dinner conversations; countless themed dinner parties, community gatherings, and one-on-one introductions. I love being the social architect for meaningful connections.

Audrey's Tent
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As director of TEDxSanDiego, I curated more than 80 talks and spent years introducing remarkable people to one another. In 2018, I gave my own TEDx talk called How to Be a Matchmaker in Work, Life and Love. It has been viewed 200,000 times.

This month, a photo memory popped up on my phone from one of my Culinary Hedonism Supper Clubs, and I thought, maybe San Miguel would like something like that. Without thinking, I posted on a San Miguel Facebook group titled "Looking for Love?" describing the concept of a curated matchmaking dinner. Six hundred likes, 400 comments, and 500 private messages later, I understood that I had found a real need.

What surprised me is how many singles don't want love, or at least not right now. They want a cure for loneliness: loyal friends to hike with, travel with, volunteer, exercise, laugh and share life with. Even more, they want to find their adopted family, the people who have your back when your other family lives far away.

Reading those messages, both in English and Spanish, my path became clear, I found another part of my belonging. For the first time since I moved to San Miguel, I know how I'm meant to serve my community. I found my why, and started Love in San Miguel, because San Miguel is too magical to love alone.

Love in San Miguel is a bilingual, bicultural community that creates intentional opportunities for thoughtful singles to meet, build friendships, find their people, and maybe fall in love.

www.loveinsanmiguel.com

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